O Savior, Stay This Night With Me!

Well, this is day 4 of my new food source and everything seems to be going well with that.  The area where they inserted the line is no longer bothering me... it's just itchy, which I'm told is very normal.  I'm so thankful that I no longer have to worry about little baby Pierson receiving the nourishment he/she needs through this developmental stage.

On the other hand, things have not really changed as far as the nausea and vomitting.  It's been a rough few days as I am constantly struggling with the fact that I am still very HUNGRY! I try not to focus on it, but some days it is very difficult to ignore the rumbles of my tummy...lol.  I want to eat, but I know the price I have to pay afterwards and often the cost is just too high.  It has now been 5 weeks since I was able to keep any food or liquid down.

One of the things that has been a saving grace is the wonderful nursing staff here at the hospital!  They are AMAZING!  I am grateful for their smiles and constant kindness as I have been going through this trial.  A couple of nurses in particular have made an extra effort during the nights to take time and talk with me, as they realized I was not getting much sleep. These short and yet thoughtful conversations have made the late hours barable for me. It seems the night is when I am struggling the most as I find myself often laying alone in a dark room hoping to find a short sleepy escape from this unceasing discomfort.  Yesterday before Brad went home for the night he took some time to sing some hymns to me, which ALWAYS seems to bring some sense of comfort. The last one he sang was "Abide With Me Tis Eventide". 

I find myself spending a lot of my time in earnest prayer to my Heavenly Father.  I have never felt so literally low in my entire life... and yet I have never been LIFTED HIGHER!  Last night the words of the hymn were my constant prayer and I know that HE heard me:

1. Abide with me; ’tis eventide.
The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall;
The night is coming on.
Within my heart a welcome guest,
Within my home abide.

[Chorus]
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide.

2. Abide with me; ’tis eventide.
Thy walk today with me
Has made my heart within me burn,
As I communed with thee.
Thy earnest words have filled my soul
And kept me near thy side.

[Chorus]
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide.

3. Abide with me; ’tis eventide,
And lone will be the night
If I cannot commune with thee
Nor find in thee my light.
The darkness of the world, I fear,
Would in my home abide.

[Chorus]
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me;
Behold, ’tis eventide.

Although my sickness has not been taken away, I know the Lord hears and answers my prayers. Last night my hospital room may have seemed empty to any other person, but I KNOW that I was NOT alone. Though FAITH may not bring me healing, it can bring me PEACE!  My SAVIOR and REDEEMER, JESUS CHRIST is the true peace I seek at this time.  HE has NEVER forsaken me!